In on it

Posted: February 2, 2010 | Author: Johanna | Filed under: Johanna | 6 Comments »

Right now, it’s about 9:00 eastern time. The rest of the Johnson-Bowline household (as well as the rest of the people I know, judging by my dire buddylist/Twitter feed situations) is watching the Season 6 premiere of LOST.

I don’t watch Lost. Mostly because I’m terrified of a television show so all-encompassing that people I know are legitimately upset that this season began, because this season begins the end of the series. But also, I’m mildly uncomfortable with the idea of a television series that prompts people to not only make appointments to view it, but go so far as to turn off their computers/cell phones/ house phones in order to experience it fully. I mean…. I’m sequestered in the bedroom, for heaven’s sake.
This is not to say that I don’t have my own favorite shows. And that they’re not in any way appointment viewing. Because screw you if you try to interrupt me while I’m watching Bones, and I will cut you if you make me forget to DVR Chuck. But c’mon. David Boreanaz?? This guy?? You see my point. But Jesse watches these with me. I don’t kick him out.

So while the rest of the world is watching some silly TV show about an island that travels through space and time or some such nonsense (spoiler alert: the title is not purely ironic), we few, we lucky few who are not in on the magic can get in on something else entirely.
Chocolate. Gravy.

That’s right. I am not joking. And here’s the thing – the formidable Lisa of Homesick Texan, a wellspring of knowledge on regional Texan delicacies, wasn’t even in on this, until a friend mentioned it to her. So just think, my lovelies!! YOU who are mostly not Texans are in on the ground floor of this thing that even a hard-core (albiet displaced)TEXAN didn’t know about!!!

Chocolate Gravy, via Homesick Texan

Step 1: Make biscuits. I am not a snob, and am therefore ok with you opening a can of refrigerated dough. But if you want to be like me, get out your buttermilk and your kitchen scale, and follow along:
Measure 9.25 ounces of flour into a bowl. Add 4 teaspoons of baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda, and 3/4 teaspoons of salt.
Smush in 1 ounce of butter and 2 tablespoons of shortening with your fingertips until the whole bowl looks like crumbs. Then add 1 cup of cold buttermilk and stir.
Turn the biscuit dough mess out onto a floured board, knead 3 times, and pat into a circle ish thing. Cut biscuits, place close together on a baking sheet, and bake at 450 for 18 minutes. You can brush them with butter at 11 minutes left if you want.

Step 2. Make chocolate gravy.
Combine 3/4 cup of sugar (I used 1/4 brown sugar and 1/2 cup sugar in the raw), 1/4 cup of flour, 1/4 cup cocoa powder, a heaping 1/4 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, and a pinch or two of cayenne in a pot. Stir until everything is combined.
Add 2 cups of milk and put on the heat. Stir until everything thickens up and makes you want to faint from the aroma.

Step 3. Devour.
If you want to, you can add a teaspoon of butter at the end right before your serve, or just butter your split biscuits. Either way, break a biscuit in half, spoon the chocolate deliciousness over, and enjoy.
I saved the remainder of my chocolate gravy in a clean glass pint jar in the fridge. I’m not sure what to do with it, besides make totally bitchin’ chocolate milk or hey, more biscuits…. but I’ll figure something out.
Consider yourselves ….. In On It.